I turn the tap the water bursts forth. I keep on turning til i meet resistance. I only turn one tap on. The one mark with the little red H. Nothing good every comes from the colour red. I curl into the foetal position under the faucet. I dont know how long i spend in the shower. As long as it takes. I took a brush used to scrub floors, industrial strength cleaning products and a pummelstone to my flesh. These are not the actions of a sane human being ..a healthy one. I turn the tap the opposite direction until i meet resistance again. I hop out and look in the mirror beads of red marr my already pinked skin were i have made myself bleed ...that damn red again. It doesnt matter it didnt work ...i wont wash clean....i still cant stomach looking at myself

<3

In the end desire is always greater than consequence

intellectual intercourse

Otherwise known as a mind fuck. I very recently had a campaign of subliminal warfare planned and executed against me and I've never wanted the perpetrator of said acts more. I have come to the conclusion that I am a very warped individual. I’ve had many people tell me that I have an excuse and if you know any degree of anything about me then you will understand what that excuse entails. Yet I don’t agree. I know that and agree whole heartedly that what a person experiences and sees will shape them and affect them to a certain degree. This goes so much deeper. The thought processes, the conclusions I come to and most importantly of all the emotions that these invoke.

There is no rock on which the mortal soul may founder but that contains some frail tendril of human kindness struggling to grow; this much i have found to be true. Is it a weakness in me that I seek ever to reward it?

to hold infinity in the palm of your hands, and eternity in an hour

"all knowledge is worth having" because knowledge is power. If you understand something you control it and that is something i must always have ..........control. Just one problem with that. This giant mindfuck we call life. You deluded yourself into thinking that your strong, untouchable and in control. You build up your metaphysical armor. Then when you least expect it someone finds the chink, your Achilles heel and everything comes tumbling down. You feel violated to your very core that they could see you like this and you love it. While your around them its exhilarating. A fire starts somewhere at the base of your spine and slowly it radiates outwards. The euphoria is better than any other high; but it is short lived. The minute you leave there presence the full ramifications hit you like a physical blow. If you want something that you cant provide for yourself then you pathetic, your dependent, your weak. You berate yourself and then are further enraged that your even thinking about it ........about them

right or wrong

three little words deceptively simple; laws passed,lives lost entire empires brought to there knees all because they disagreed on the definition of them. We all have morals, ethics some set of rules and ideals that we live our lives by. I want to make it very clear im not referring to these. I am referring to an act that is completely wrong or right no grey area, no middle ground, no extenuating circumstances. Is there an act that is completely and utterly wrong from which there is no redemption....